You know what the worst part about being me is? Knowing myself better than anyone else… Knowing what I will and will not do.
Other people believe in me. Other people believe that I will make the right choice... And I know; I won’t.
Other people believe that I will let go and move on one day... And I know; I won’t.
Other people think I just need time. And I know; time has nothing to do with it.
Other people think I will walk away when I’m ready; and I know if nothing changes, then no, I won’t.
As long as he keeps feeding me just enough to stay, I’ll never go. I’ll forever be trapped in this land of mediocrity. Of wanting more. Craving more. KNOWING I deserve more. (Oh yes, I know it. I do. I REALLY do.) But I only want it from him.
And I know, if he chooses to keep me here for another 20 years; I will stay. I will stay and constantly hunger for more from him. I will stay and constantly doubt my worth to him. I will stay and secretly tell myself that one day he will see. One day he will realize. One day he will want; ME…
I know me and I know I’ll stay… and hope.